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I brush my teeth ‘till my gums bleed, it tastes so sweet. Close your eyes, don’t look at me, I don’t want you to see what has become of me; I keep lashing out at the ones who love me. So every time I sleep, I sleep a guilty sleep. And I’m afraid of my own thoughts: “would my balcony be high enough?” What we do here, what we say here, when we leave, let it stay here.
#44 02:34
I still carry you around, you’re the weight inside my chest, the hammer in my head. Keep burying my face in my cold, cold hands, the pictures still make sense. You’re not around, and it’s keeping me down. And I still pass your house from time to time. It’s not all that different, except for the brighter lights; they weren’t there when I was.
They tell me all about my feelings, I tell them all to go to hell. They don’t know what it’s like not to feel alive, feel like dying all the time. I’m swaying, and I don’t want to go home, ‘cause that’s where it hurts the most. I need someone to help me up, or keep me down, it’s all the same to me. If it’s me or nothing, choose nothing, there’s nothing right with me, and I stare into the void as the void stares into me. I’m swaying. Additional vocals by Christian Medaas.
These clothes, they don’t fit me right, they cover imperfections but don’t hide what’s inside. These girls, they don’t kiss me right, they look at me through vacant eyes, don’t see what’s inside. And I think I’ll just lay here for a while. Yeah, I think I’ll just lay here. This life, I don’t live it right, I’ll think of ways to pass the time, until time will pass me by. Sway with me.
Crush 03:24
It’s so much easier to be around you when your hands are not around my throat. But still I choke. We’d fight about it days on end, with no one there to stop us get undressed. What a mess, again. You’re out back, counting stars while I hum nothings; quietly calm my thoughts. Nothing can soothe me. Life has been a mess, ever since you left for Paris, and it’s all on me, again. The memories are killing me, ‘cause that’s the best you, you could ever be; The end of me. So we signed a brick with our initials and a kiss and I went down to find how deep the bottom really is.


Out on Sailin' On records.


released February 28, 2014

all music and words by us, gibby, c. bukowski & m. talbott
recorded & mixed by pieter vonk
mastered by nico van montfort


all rights reserved



The Kids' Crusade The Netherlands

Bram, Boy, Tommy & Paul.

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